Being a Zombie Sucks

The Top Ten reasons (in no particular order) why being a zombie would suck:

Dandruff shampoo doesn’t control your flaky scalp anymore.

Dogs run off with your fingers and toes and bury them.

You don’t have to worry about catching a cold, you have to worry about catching ants.

All bad smells get blamed on you.

Just because you’re undead doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when kids throw lawn darts at you.

BRAINS never shows up on the Dollar Value Menu at McDonald’s.

Formaldehyde is expensive, but mouthwash doesn’t quite cut it anymore.

Mad Cow Disease: Fresh brains are harder to come by these days.

Friends only invite you over when they’re throwing a Halloween party.

Haiti is a fun place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to die there.