Being a Zombie Sucks

The Top Ten reasons (in no particular order) why being a zombie would suck:

Dandruff shampoo doesn’t control your flaky scalp anymore.

Dogs run off with your fingers and toes and bury them.

You don’t have to worry about catching a cold, you have to worry about catching ants.

All bad smells get blamed on you.

Just because you’re undead doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when kids throw lawn darts at you.

BRAINS never shows up on the Dollar Value Menu at McDonald’s.

Formaldehyde is expensive, but mouthwash doesn’t quite cut it anymore.

Mad Cow Disease: Fresh brains are harder to come by these days.

Friends only invite you over when they’re throwing a Halloween party.

Haiti is a fun place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to die there.

Zombie Tag

Imagine a number of people slowly staggering around, chasing a mass of screaming victims. Perhaps they're playing Zombies? A very silly game but potentially very good fun. The game is in fact a variation on a simple game of 'tag' - suitable for any large number of people, either indoors or outdoors.

What is Zombie Tag?
The idea is that one person starts off as a zombie, who has to 'infect' the other players, simply by touching them. Of course, zombies have a slow lumbering gait, so they should be easy to escape from; but they keep coming. The typical zombie should have their arms stretched out in front of them slightly, together with a glazed expression and a stiff-legged walk. Just to make sure that people know what's going on, they might even murmur 'Zombieee' in a deadpan manner. And once they touch someone, that person becomes a zombie too, adding to the confusion and mayhem (as you are turned into a zombie, you might even emit a blood-curdling scream, just for effect).

Variations
Even this simple version is good fun; but once you know the rules there are a number of interesting variations on this theme.

Firstly, 'spontaneous zombie'. There is no absolute need to 'announce' the fact that you are going to play Zombies. If you have a large enough crowd of friends, (all of whom know how to play) then at any moment someone could decide to start a game of Zombies. Imagine the hilarious confusion, when one person suddenly turning 'zombie' transforms the local pub, or your relaxing family picnic into a scene of chaos. (Picture, if you will, a group of complete strangers staggering around a shopping complex.)

Also, you might try to stop the zombie(s). You might allow one person to be a 'cleric' or 'anti-zombie' who is able to cure zombies, or you might think of other ways of stopping the zombie (water pistols or pillows perhaps?).

Of course the game doesn't really have a 'winner' in the conventional sense; although it does have a 'competitive' element. It's just fun to play!